The Date Who Sent Me an Invoice
I thought I’d met the epitome of a gentleman when Eric showed up for our first date with roses in hand and a charming smile. He even brought a thoughtful gift—a personalized keychain—and spent the entire evening being attentive and engaging. For a moment, I thought, This might actually work out.
But the next morning, reality hit like a cold splash of water. Instead of a sweet “Good morning” text, I received an attachment. It wasn’t a cute photo or a heartfelt message—it was an invoice.
Yes, an invoice.
The document was meticulously itemized: roses, keychain, dinner, and—wait for it—conversation. Apparently, our lively chat wasn’t complimentary. I stared at my phone, half-expecting Ashton Kutcher to pop out and tell me I’d been punk’d.
Mia, my best friend and the one who set us up, had assured me Eric was “a total gentleman.” Her boyfriend, Chris, had even vouched for him. “He’s a great guy,” they both said. Well, great guys don’t send Venmo requests after a date.
When I sent Mia the screenshot, she was as shocked as I was. Chris, on the other hand, found it hysterical. “I’ve known Eric for years,” he said between laughs, “but this is next-level ridiculous.”
Chris, being the legend he is, decided to fight fire with fire. He created his own invoice and sent it to Eric. It included charges like:
- A lifetime of silence: $1,000
- Emotional distress caused by your absurdity: $500
- Formal apology to all women you’ve ever dated: Priceless
Eric didn’t take it well. He fired back with angry texts, calling Chris a “terrible friend” and insisting I’d “missed out on a GREAT guy.” Spoiler alert: I didn’t.
I blocked Eric’s number and kept the keychain as a quirky souvenir. It now hangs on my keyring as a reminder of the most bizarre date I’ve ever had—and a lesson learned: if a guy insists on paying, make sure he doesn’t plan to charge you later.
