Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, balance, and clear boundaries. When partners clearly state their needs and boundaries, it’s easier to maintain a sense of self-worth.
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it makes for a healthy, fulfilling relationship in the long run.
So, counselor and therapist Lianne Avila argues that all couples should set the following boundaries.
Respect yourself
It all starts with your self-esteem. “When you feel good about yourself, it’s easier to set boundaries that protect you and help you stay true to your values,” Avila explains to YourTango.
Avoid the Attunement Trap
The desire to please our partner can lead us to constantly put their needs before our own for fear of rejection. However, the counselor notes, “If you adapt too much, over time, feelings of resentment and contempt for your partner can arise. Maintaining your boundaries is key to mutual respect.”
Maintain a balance of power
If only one person makes all the important decisions, this can lead to feelings of burnout and dissatisfaction in the relationship. “When both partners have a voice in decision-making, it strengthens mutual trust and a sense of equality,” Avila says.
Don’t say “yes” when you mean “no”
“Sometimes you feel pressured to agree to something, either because you think it’s your responsibility or because you don’t want to disappoint your partner. But constantly giving in leads to burnout and disappointment. When you learn to say “no,” you actually give yourself the opportunity to focus on what’s really important to you,” the counselor emphasizes.
Take time for yourself
Personal space is not a luxury, but a necessity. Even 10 minutes a day dedicated to ourselves – whether through drinking coffee in peace, writing in a journal or taking a walk – can significantly improve our mental health. Every now and then, taking an entire day for yourself, like a nature retreat or relaxing in a hotel, helps you return to a fresh and content relationship,” Avila concluded.
