Michelle Obama addressed her decision to skip President Donald Trump’s inauguration in January—a choice that sparked breakup rumors between her and husband Barack Obama.
For Michelle Obama, learning to say “no” has been a pivotal piece of her new chapter.
In fact, the former First Lady of the United States has been candid about her evolution following the end of her husband Barack Obama’s second term and the family’s exit from the White House. And part of her journey has been choosing to make decisions that are best for her—which is why Michelle was notably absent from President Donald Trump’s inauguration in January.
“My decision to skip the inauguration—or my decision to make choices at the beginning of this year that suited me—were met with such ridicule and criticism,” Michelle told brother Craig Robinson during the April 23 episode of their podcast IMO With Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson. “People couldn’t believe that I was saying no for any other reason, that they had to assume that my marriage was falling apart.”
And indeed, while Michelle’s absence was met with divorce rumors—ones the 61-year-old was quick to dispel—she once again reiterated her choice was wholly made by and for herself.
“I’m here really trying to own my life and intentionally practice making the choice that was right for me,” she added. “And it took everything in my power to not do the thing that ‘was right,’ or was perceived as right, but do the things that was right for me.”
But while the Becoming author was confident in her decision, it was not an easy one. In fact, she admitted she had to “basically trick” herself into not going.
Julia Beverly/WireImage“It started with not having anything to wear,” she explained. “Because I’m always prepared for any funeral, anything—I walk around with the right dress, I travel with clothes just in case something pops off. So, I was like, if I’m not going to do this thing, I got to tell my team, I don’t even want to have a dress ready.”
Michelle—who shares daughters Malia Obama, 26, and Sasha Obama, 23, with the 44th President of the U.S.——also spoke further about the kind of self-evaluation she’s embarked on since leaving the White House, and why prioritizing herself has become so important.
“I’m at this stage in life where I have to define my life on my terms for the first time,” she said. “Like what happened that eight years that we were in the White House? What did that do to me internally, my soul?”
MANDEL NGAN/AFP via Getty ImagesShe continued, “We made it through. We got out alive. I hope we made the country proud. My girls, thank God, are whole. But what happened to me?”
Michelle explained that in going to therapy to work through some of these questions, she’s also begun to unlearn some of the messages she’s been saying to herself.
“Going through therapy is getting me to look at the fact that maybe, finally, I’m good enough,” she continued. “Then trying to actively practice something different to rewire those neurons in my head that make me keep pushing and keep striving. And practicing ‘no’ in a very different way intentionally.”
For a closer look at who was at Trump’s inauguration in January, keep reading.
